Moonlight
by ViiA01
Summary: Sasuke muses on his ability to be a father to Sarada.


Was talking to the old man (ugh, disgusting) and he was telling me how freaked out he was when he first held his son. He told me that it wasn't really something you can prepare for.

Or something. I dunno, he's old.

* * *

Moonlight

Sasuke sat away from Sakura's sleeping form, leaning against the wall.

Orochimaru's old hideout is dingy, but Karin had done a good job at warming it up for Sakura and…

Sarada.

Sasuke can see the dark tufts of their daughter's hair over Sakura's arms.

_Their daughter._

When Karin had handed her to Sakura for the first time, Sasuke had been taken aback by just how small she was. Red faced and squalling, she looked right cradled in Sakura's arms.

And then Sakura had given her to Sasuke, and Sasuke was afraid for the first time.

She was _so_ small.

Not just small, but delicate, and soft. Fragile.

What if he hurt her?

Sasuke sighed, watching his wife and daughter sleep. Sakura is curled up on her side, cradling Sarada close to her chest, pillows strewn around her. Sasuke had been over there before, letting Sakura lean against him, but as he had watched them sleep, he couldn't be close anymore.

He had hurt Sakura so easily, when he was a child, when he was a teenager-

And now there was Sarada.

Tiny, perfect little Sarada.

And Sakura still trusted him with her? After all that he had done? How could she think that he was going to be a good father?

Sasuke set his sword down silently, hating to wake either of them. Sakura had never complained, not once, while she was pregnant, and she had given birth just hours ago. He wanted her to rest as long as possible, as much as she wanted.

But even so, as he looked towards his family, sleeping on the nest of blankets and pillows, Sasuke couldn't help but feel like he didn't deserve this. Sakura was too sweet, too kind, too gentle for someone like him. And Sarada…

Sarada deserved a father who hadn't been a criminal.

He got up, walking from the room silently.

More than ever, he wished that they were in the village. Kakashi- or… Anyone, would know what to do, better than he would.

As he walked through the dark halls to the kitchens, he felt a pang in his chest. He wished his mother were here. She would know what to do, would tell him how to be a good husband and father. She could teach him how to take care of Sakura and Sarada, like a proper man should.

Would she be proud of him?

Sakura feeding Sarada, flushed from birth, eyes wet with tears, sprang to mind.

Maybe.

"What are you doing?" Karin grouches from behind him, voice thick with sleep. "Sasuke, it's like three am."

Sasuke sighs, putting the cup he had been filling up, down on the counter. "Go back to sleep, Karin." He says. "I'm getting Sakura some water." He turns, grabbing the jug off the bench and began filling that too.

Karin stomps around next to him, snatching the jug from his hands, eyes blazing. She wasn't wearing her glasses and her hair was even more unkempt than usual. "Why are you still dressed, Sasuke?" She demanded.

"I was-"

"You're holding back." She accuses, pushing the half-filled jug into his stomach. "You're hiding from her again, aren't you?"

"Shut up, Karin."

"No." She says, eyes flaring. "No, Sasuke. She followed you to the ends of the Earth and back, went to bat for you against the five Kage. She carried your child- that beautiful little girl, for nine months." Her mouth presses into a tight line.

Sasuke didn't understand why she was so angry. "I'm just getting water." He says defensively.

"I'm a sensor, Sasuke. I know you've not been close to Sakura or Sarada since they fell asleep." Karin snaps.

Sasuke recoiled. It hadn't felt right, to intrude on Sakura and Sarada's bonding- he felt like he didn't…

Her expression softened ever so slightly. "You're not going to hurt them." She says. "So you take this water, and you go back in there and you be with them."

Sasuke knows he should go back in there. A part of him- most of him, wants nothing more than to lie down with his wife and daughter and sleep. Like he had slept with his own parents and Itachi. But… He was…

"You won't." Karin says sharply, with that uncanny ability she has when she really pays attention. She fixes a firm almost glare on him. "Stop living in the past, Sasuke. Stop trying to punish yourself for everything that happened."

Maturity looks right on Karin.

She sighs. "So go back in there and _be happy_, Sasuke." She says. "If you want to make it up to her, you'll do that."

"Karin, I'm sorry-"

She cuts him off with a wave of her hand, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "Yeah, yeah, I know." She says, flippant. "Go away, I'm tired and your wife _needs_ you." Her gaze is pointed before she turns on her heel and walks away.

Sasuke takes the water back to the room he and Sakura are sharing. It is warmer than the halls, the little heater Karin had brought working diligently in the corner.

Sakura hasn't moved, but Sarada has, arms escaping their tight swaddling. She is clutching a lock of her mother's pink hair, little face pressed against Sakura's arm.

Sasuke puts the water down on the little table and kneels next to his family. Very carefully, he unwraps Sarada's blankets.

His daughter stays fast asleep as he wraps her up again. He is tucking her into Sakura's arms again when he looks up and sees his wife looking at him tiredly, green eyes warm.

She smiles. "Hello."

He brushes some of Sakura's hair off her face. "I didn't mean to wake you."

She shakes her head. "It's okay." She says quietly, arms curling around Sarada more securely. "Will you come sleep?"

Sasuke sees his wife, looking up at him hopefully, cradling their daughter in her arms. She has dark circles under her eyes, and her Yin Seal is more purple, stark against her sleep-pale skin. And his chest pangs again.

Not with sadness, but with want.

He wants this.

"Okay." He murmurs to Sakura and she smiles, so happy.

He lies next to them both, draping an arm over Sakura's waist. She shifts closer, curling around their daughter protectively and Sasuke finds himself mimicking her.

Sakura presses her forehead against his chest, looking down at Sarada. "Isn't she beautiful, Sauske?" She asks tiredly.

Sasuke looks at his sleeping daughter. She is. She's perfect. She'll grow to be beautiful and strong, just like her mother and grandmother before her. "Yeah." He said quietly, voice catching. "She is."

Sakura's smile is so beautiful as she traces a finger over Sarada's forehead, cooing nonsense.

"Sakura."

She looks up at him.

"Thank you." He said.

* * *

Can the writers just let Sasuke go home, please?

I really just want him to be happy with his family.


End file.
